Hi there kaymr123,
Does following and changing the setting in the steps below help stop those loud notifications? The steps below can help change the volume from sound effects using your iPhone.
"Change the volume of sound effects using iPhone or iPad
- Wear your AirPods, and make sure they’re connected to your device.
- On your iPhone or iPad, go to Settings
> Accessibility > AirPods. - Select your AirPods, then adjust Tone Volume.
For more options—such as Headphone Accommodations—tap Audio Accessibility Settings. See Set headphone accommodations for AirPods."
Those steps, including steps for other devices like Apple Watch devices, can be found here: Adjust the volume of sound effects for AirPods - Apple Support
Let us know how that goes or if you have any further questions.
Take care.