I am getting the "ask to buy" text messages, but some of them do not give me the option to review the request.

Hello ken2016sw1,

It looks like you joined the Apple Support Communities from a great article for your issue: If Ask to Buy isn't working - Apple Support. As it shows there, did you have a chance to review your Family Sharing settings? What about the Apple ID and the device software for each of the devices connected to the Family Sharing account? Does everything match up as expected? If not, please follow the guidance on that page to verify these settings are all correct.

If they are, move on to the steps here on this page: Approve what kids buy with Ask to Buy - Apple Support under the section labeled "How to approve or decline a request." If another approver has been designated, is it possible that they approved the apps before you? Also, please note the following:

Ask to Buy doesn't apply to apps or content from school

If a child's account was created using Apple ID for Students, the child can use Ask to Buy for personal purchases outside of the educational institution. It won't apply to any apps or other content distributed by the school.

We hope this information helps you in approving the needed requests for the others on your Family Sharing account.

Cheers!

My daughter and I both updated our software. It sent a text message with a link to accept instead of a notification. That was after restarting and signing in and out of my daughters Apple ID.