I have a pending request for a refund of a subscription that i canceled but it still charged me. My bank is hot carding the payment method that was charged. How do i change where they will send my refund back to another card?

Read this support article for information about how long it takes to receive a refund, and how to check the status of a refund for apps or content that you bought from Apple --> Check the status of a refund for apps or content that you bought from Apple - Apple Support

After you request a refund you'll receive a status update by email within 48 hours. If your refund is approved, the funds are applied to the same payment method that you used to buy the item.

You would have to ask Apple if what you want is possible.

Refer to this document for ways to contact Apple ➞ Choose your country or region - Official Apple Support

Select your country (also look for "other" regions), then a product. If you don't see one that handles your issue then keep experimenting with selections until you reach one that gets you a chat session or a telephone call and get the representative to redirect you.

or:

Contact Apple for support and service by telephone ➞ Contact Apple for support and service - Apple Support

I'll post this separately since when I have mentioned it in previous threads like yours I do not get positive feedback, but others have said that if Apple cannot find the payment method that was used to make the purchase that they will issue a credit balance to your Apple account instead.