My iphone decides when a mail should and shouldn't be sent - no notification

I have 5 different mail accounts on my iphone 11 running ios16.6. This has been happening for about 6 months and happens on gmail, work accounts and other domain names I have. It doesn't matter which one I use. It is so frustrating. I write the mail and it makes the whoosh sound. I think I am all set and then I realize nothing was sent. There is no record of that email ANYWHERE. This is so frustrating because I basically cannot trust that any email on my phone will go out. You can imagine how problematic this can be when working 2 jobs and sharing info back and forth with family. Yikes. I have updated the phone, turned it on and off and on again, I am out of ideas. I was seeing an odd pattern that it always happens when I need to delete something in my email but last night I tried to send an email from my gmail account to my work account with a todo list so I wouldn't forgot...I did not delete anything and this morning, no list showed up in my work email. HELP!!!! I am ready to throw my iphone out and go to the dark side after years and years of being a loyal apple follower.