You are right, the manual is promising “automatically select the photo with the largest dimensions or size to preserve quality”. But the size is not referring to the file size but the pixel size.
when I tested the automatic merging in a small test library, and I had duplicates with the same resolution (width and height in pixels) but a different amount of compression, Photos has been keeping the version with the smaller file size. It kept the edited JPEG version with the larger amount of compression and discarded much larger TIFF version. Photos has two criteria to pick the keepers. It will also keep the version with more metadata, when it has to decide between two versions with the same dimensions.
I like the duplicate album to point out duplicates, but I prefer to decide myself, which versions to keep. I consolidate the titles, captions, keywords, dates, locations before deleting one of the redundant items.
I import photos one of three ways:
1) I take a photo on my iPhone and it appears in the library (which is a Shared Library)
2) My wife takes a photo on her iPhone and it it appears in the Shared library
3) I manually import from the SD card from my Sony camera.
A good question. I have been using the Shared Library since it came out. It did not create any duplicates. But I did not enable the automatic Sharing right from the camera. I only share selected photos manually.
Are you importing from the Sony camera on your Mac or on the iPhone? Are the original photos RAW?
In your example picture - is just the file size different or also the dimensions in with and height? Adding adjustment to a photo will change the file size, but not the resolution in pixels, but mailing a photo can also scale the photo down and reduce the resolution.
I also created scaled down versions of my photos with a lesser resolution by downloading photos from a shared album or by editing RAW photos on the iPhone in Photos.