Pair iTunes Remote with Music library on iMac

I had the same problem - the Apple Music User Guide says to click the Remote button below Devices in the sidebar - well, there IS no Devices in the side bar. I was formerly set up on my phone to use it as a remote with my main computer that has all my music on it, but it was greyed out so I disconnected all and have been unable to reconnect. I reinstalled the remote app, I am reading all the forums, nothing. I did find where to turn on Home Sharing (nowhere close to where the help guides say to) and did that, so it's not a Home Sharing issue. I am signed in as my user name, on the same wireless network, it is literally that they ruined iTunes with Apple Music and I hate it so much. But it is still better than WMP. But the instructions DO NOT ADDRESS REALITY.