NO Smart Bulbs connecting with Homekit

I wanted to switch over to Apple Home from Alexa for various reasons but at this point, I'm thinking Alexa might be the better option. In the past week, I have purchased 3 different brands of Smart bulb that are supposed to be compatible with Homekit and I cannot get ANY of them to link. I assumed the first one I bought was just not really compatible, even though it was supposed to be - I can't remember the name of that one. The next one I bought was Lifx. Then I got Meross and finally Yeelight. They all have the same issue. I can get them to connect with their native apps. However, when I go to add them into the Home app they do not connect. If I try to connect through Home first, the same error happens. Each time, it goes through the process just fine - even color/brightness cycles which is SUPPOSED to mean that it's connected when that stops but then it just ends up giving me an "unknown error" and NOT showing up as an accessory in my Home. If I add through the native app, it connects just fine but then when I go to add accessory in the Home app after it's connected, it give me the same error.

I have reset the bulbs more times than I can count and made sure I'm connected to icloud, bluetooth and internet; reset the router; reset my phone; the firmware for the bulbs are up to date; my iphone is on the latest version...literally EVERYTHING I can think of and have seen in support groups...and NOTHING seems to solve the problem. At this point, I think I can definitively say that it's NOT my phone or internet or the bulb....and I'm beyond frustrated.