Hello gdmedia,
Thank you for reaching out to Apple Support Communities, and we'll be happy to help in any way we can. We understand you're having issues with your AirPods Max not automatically connecting to your device when you want to use them. Check out the information here about automatic switching: Switch your AirPods to another device - Apple Support
"Switch automatically
AirPods are connected to your iPhone and Apple Watch at the same time. Sound switches between them automatically.
To switch between devices automatically1 with your AirPods (2nd generation), AirPods (3rd generation), AirPods Pro, or AirPods Max:
If you're signed in with the same Apple ID on your devices, your AirPods will automatically switch from listening to music on your iPad to answering a phone call on your iPhone, for example."
We hope this helps.
Cheers!