The issue that you have encountered suggests that your own AppleID credentials were not used when setting your ScreenTime Passcode...
When setting a ScreenTime Passcode, you have the option to enter AppleID credentials for Passcode recovery - or to skip this step entirely and not use an AppleID account for ScreenTime Passcode recovery.
While you might choose to use your own AppleID for this purpose, you can also choose use a completely different AppleID account - allowing you to significantly enhance the security of the device. Using different AppleID ensures that any restrictions applied to the device cannot be removed using the AppleID credentials that is being used to sign-in to iCloud and/or other Apple services; if these credentials are stored within your Keychain (or native Passwords App) these might be easily discovered using the Passcode used to unlock the device.
If the ScreenTime Passcode is unknown and cannot be reset with the correct AppleID and associated Password, your only option is to completely reset the iPad and set-up again "as new". You'll not be able to restore an iCloud or iTunes backup as you will also restore the unknown ScreenTime Passcode.