How do I known if my device has been added to a laptop or to remotely controlled software

How can you tell if your device has been added to a laptop or desktop device, remotely controlled software? I’ve been on the phone with apple because I couldn’t figure out why “live speech” was gray and not eligible for me to use. During this phone call and eventually a screen share I was informed that I do not have the same options and or features available for an iPhone 14. If you go into my settings and legal licenses and privacy licenses etc, they are almost all expired I’ve tried bringing this to apples attention with another I phone I had but was told repeatedly that my iPhone would in fact show who is linked or logged in with my account or device now I understand that feature but is it possible to in face mask or clone? My ex would clone my sims cards and when I had managed to actually get his phone out of grip his phone which was an android was identical on the screen contacts messages etc as to mine which was an iPhone! Also to hook into towers if you have the background and knowledge to do so or even phish your own program that small window while setting up your phone or connecting to WiFi or in general know what your provider is. Isn’t any of this possible to still in fact be able to access limited or even all eventually the devices screen or data camera or messages. I know I was texting once my microphone settings shut off I was not touching my phone I look down as I was talking to someone to continue my message and my phone was typing out “yeah I’ll head that way as soon as” and that wasn’t any relevance to what I was discussing prior! As well as my vehicle had a man’s voice saying “hello, hello oh f” and then silence

[Re-Titled By Moderator]