iphone disabled

Hoping someone can help. I have an old iphone (I think it is a 6s) that no longer has a SIM card but we want to use it as a music player for my daughter. It had a passcode that my husband and I both forgot and tried various options - too many apparently because now the phone says it is disabled and needs to be connected to iTunes. However when we connect it iTunes won't pick it up/recognize it! What are our options? is there some way we can force a factory reset on it? Hoping we don't have to just throw it away.

Thanks in advance!