Why is Siri so useless for me?

I have so many problems with Siri, it’s hard to know where to begin.

1. If I say, “Hey Siri, phone home,” nothing happens. It if I say, “Hey Siri, phone home ***, the call is placed.
2. The same phenomenon happens on other devices, like iPad and Mac, when using Siri for other tasks, like playing music.
3. But only sometimes. Sometimes, when I ask to play a song, it tries to play it in Spotify or asks for authorization to use Spotify. I have an Apple Music account, but not a Spotify account. I rarely access Spotify.

How can I get Siri to do what I ask without having to swear? Just calling her an idiot isn’t enough; it has to be “***.” How can I get music to play in Apple Music without having to jump through hoops just so it doesn’t use an app I rarely use?

[Edited by Moderator]