my Apple id is no lnger working as well as any google apps associated with it. Email is especially bothersome!!

On your devices, see what Apple ID is signed into Settings/Your Name. Check your wife's ID by seeing what ID is signed into System Preferences/iCloud (Apple ID for Catalina or later).

You can create a new Apple ID for one of you to use. See the links I posted above.

If you forgot the Apple ID (iCloud) password, enter the Apple (iCloud) ID, and click Forgot Password on the sign in page. See if you can get a Rescue or Notification email option if necessary. Link to contact Apple Support at the end of the 2nd article.

Apple ID - Manage  -     

Apple ID – Forgot Password  *      

Are you sharing an Apple ID? You can create a new Apple ID for one of you to se.

Apple ID - create a new.      

Apple ID – Create         

Family Sharing.         

Family Sharing - Set up.        

When changing to the new ID, there may be some data loss, but you can minimize it. If syncing photos with iCloud, ensure Optimization is turned off in Settings/Your Name/iCloud/Photos and/or in Photos/Preferences/iCloud. Then make sure full resolution photos are on the device/computer. When signing out of iCloud, if asked whether you want to retain data, choose yes. Messages conversations will be lost if they are addressed to the ID. See the article below for other places that the old ID should be removed. See Winston Churchill's response in the below discussion. Also set up Family Sharing between the IDs to keep access to your apps/purchases. 

How to switch Apple IDs on your iPhone or iPad.      

How to transfer all files from one iCloud account to another.        

What to do after you change your Apple ID or password - Apple Support.