i was given a iphone 11 pro max and it has a activation lock on it

She can get help from Apple.

iCloud uses her Apple ID and password: If you forgot your Apple ID - Apple Support

or have her see the following from How to remove Activation Lock - Apple Support

Start a support request

If you need help removing Activation Lock and have proof of purchase documentation, you can start an Activation Lock support request.

You will need the assistance of the previous owner. See: How to remove Activation Lock - Apple Support

Sorry, I don't know of any other way.