How do I update the flash player on my ipad?

Again, Flash Player does not work on ANY iOS device, iPhone, iPad, and never has. Steve Jobs banned it from iOS years ago. He wrote a white paper on why he banned it. You cannot install it, update it, or do anything with it on any iOS device. Sorry to be so blunt but the request you received is a common scam for Mac users. It means nothing for your iPad. Ignore it.

Apple has chosen to not allow Flash Player on any iPad or iPhone. If you are getting this message, you are navigating to a page that needs to have Flash Player installed for the page to work properly. That being said, you are not going to be able to install it on your iPad. You will have to load that page on a device that is capable of having flash player installed.

Downloading apps from a web browser and installing them is a great way to get malware and other malicious code installed on your device. When you side load apps from unknown sources, you have no idea what was actually put into that installer, so no idea just what it puts on your device.

The only supported source for iOS apps is the Apple App Store.

Flash doesnt work on an iPad or iPhone

As stated there is no version of Adobe Flash available for an iDevice. Never has been, never will be.

The message you saw is a common scam to trick users into downloading useless, and possibly damaging software. You are fortunate that it is not possible to install software via a web browser.

Recognize and avoid phishing messages, phony support calls, and other scams - Apple Support