How do I connect 2 sets of Airpods to one iPhone so we can both watch or listen at the same time?

I don't believe you can. You can pair two sets of AirPods to a phone but use only one of them at a time. However, I've found this response by asking "How can two people listen to music from one iPhone with AirPods":

You can share audio from one iPhone to two pairs of AirPods or compatible Beats headphones using Apple's built-in Audio Sharing, by connecting the first pair, opening Control Center, tapping the AirPlay icon, selecting "Share Audio," bringing the second headphones close, and following prompts to connect both; each person can then control their own volume. 

1. 1. 1. How to use Audio Sharing with AirPods/Beats
      2. Connect First Pair: Wear your AirPods/Beats, ensuring they're connected to your iPhone.
      3. Open Control Center: Swipe down from the top-right corner of your iPhone screen.
      4. Tap AirPlay Icon: Tap the AirPlay icon (looks like a triangle with circles) in the audio card.
      5. Select Share Audio: Tap the "Share Audio" button (below your connected headphones).
      6. Connect Second Pair: Bring the second pair of AirPods or Beats headphones close to the iPhone and put them in pairing mode (open case near iPhone for AirPods, press power button for Beats).
      7. Tap Share/Join: Tap "Share Audio" on your device, and your friend should tap "Join" on their device when prompted.
      8. Adjust Volume: In Control Center, touch and hold the volume slider to see separate sliders for each set of headphones and adjust individually. 

Give it a try and let us know if it's valid or not.