It seems that what you are experiencing is actually wrong with the system and not just the wrong setup—especially because the sound only returns after switching the Silent Switch and then disappears again randomly. This behavior has appeared with some iOS updates in the past years, and is often caused by a bug in:
Audio Routeing
Notification Center
Or a change in the behavior of the mute button + Focus Modes
Let's try to address the issue with proven steps, and explain what you can do until Apple issues a formal repair.
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First: Make sure the problem isn't from the settings (although it really looks like a bug)
1. Disable/Activate Full Focus Mode
Sometimes a bug occurs that causes iOS to enter “silent” mode without showing it.
Go to:
Settings → Focus
Temporarily suspend all modes
Stop sharing across devices
Try sending yourself a message
2. Make sure that the notification tone doesn't change automatically
After some updates, the sound of the notification changes and becomes “None”.
Go to:
Settings → Sounds & Haptics → Text Tone
And make sure it's not on 'None'
And try to choose another tone and test it.
3. Disable “Deliver Quietly”
Sometimes iOS puts the notification on silent mode unintentionally Quiet.
Swipe left on the message notification
Select Deliver Prominently
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Advanced steps to reset the notification and voice system
4. Reset system settings (does not erase your data)
Fixes a lot of voice and focus errors.
Settings → General → Transfer or Reset → Reset → Reset all settings
This won't delete photos or conversations, but it returns:
Audio Settings
The network
Bluetooth
Notifications
Home Screen Settings
In 90% of cases, random voice problems are fixed.
5. Disable “Attention Aware Features”
This feature lowers the volume when Face ID recognizes your face.
Settings → Face ID & Attention → Stop Attention Aware Features
Many users have confirmed that they cause strange behavior in the sound of notifications after certain updates.
6. Make sure it's not AirPods/Bluetooth
If the device “thinks” that Bluetooth speakers are connected, the notification audio will be sent there instead of the speaker.
Pull Control Center
Make sure Bluetooth is not connected
Open “Settings → Bluetooth” and make sure there is no device active