Can't reset Screen Time as I am logged out of iPhone

Look Im almost 50 years old, not a child, I never had screen time on my phone. I was part of a family plan my wife created, we disovolved that plan. On my mac book everything is great, my apple account works fine settings are fine etc etc. My phone is almost a brick im locked out of things, i cant reset anything. It wants a screen time password, i cant log out, When i log into the family play i recreated for us it now says i am my wife but shows my account for the phone/cloud users but the manager is somehow not me. There are tons of similar posts of people with similar issues. I also try to send a reset to any email or phone number we know and nothing, there is no reset. The metadata in your cloud database is screwed up, there is no reset. There needs to be a way to purge that data and account.

[Re-Titled by Moderator]

Original Title: Cant reset screen time