How do I remove shared iCloud Photos from my wife's library after deleting sharing?

travlrz wrote: … divorce isn't on the table, but I will be reminded of the f-up for a long while.

I understand that, alright.

You can seagate iPhone 6s fro iPhone 14s, mostly, but sometimes pictures don't have full metadata. You can also use multiple conditions, so iPhone 6 and date is between June 1 2015 and Sept 23 2016, for instance. The Mac detects categories of objects, so you can search for Text includes flower if she takes lots of flower pictures, for instance.

When you separate out a sub-group, add a keyword to those, like mine or hers, and then you can get them later with keyword includes hers.

With the keyword manager (⌘K) you can make shortcuts, like m and h-- then when you see a picture that's hers, you just hit the h key, and it adds a hers as a keyword. If you're working in a Smart Album with keyword is not hers AND keyword is not his, then that pictures will immediately disappear, and you're left with pictures that aren't identified yet.

Keywords are cool! See this:

Add keywords to photos and videos on Mac - Apple Support

I'm guessing divorce is not an option…

I'm not sure what you meant by "sharing." Did you mean that you had both computers connected to the same iCloud account? Or did you use a "Shared Album" in Photos? Or did you have a "Shared Library?"

You didn't tell us where how these pictures were made. If they came from different cameras then you may be able to use a Smart Album to collect her pictures all made with the same camera, for instance. Like this:

There are other options available for Smart Albums that may help.

If they are from a Shared Album, the camera information might be stripped, so you might be able to use "Camera Model is empty."

If they are from a Shared Album, then they are probably smaller in resolution. Smart Albums won't search for resolution, but the trusted 3rd party app PowerPhotos ($30) could be used to separate out smaller images.

Let us know how it goes…

I'm assuming you both use iPhones for your photos, right?

If so you can create a smart album with the criteria:

Camera Model is "your model iPhone"

If, as Richard says you've lost the metadata for the shared photos then create a smart album with the criteria: Camera Model is not "your wife's iPhone model".

Then you can delete the photos in the smart album.

As for the pressure you'll be under you could try a hypnotist to convince your wife it never happened. Remember, a happy wife is a happy home. 😉