Hey there and welcome to Apple Support Communities patmu2019,
We can certainly understand your concern and can help provide some insight.
We recommend checking out these steps on how to turn on spatial sound on your AirPods to listen to media.
"Listen with spatial audio for AirPods and Beats
Spatial audio with dynamic head tracking brings theater-like sound from the movie or video you're watching, so that sound seems like it's coming from all around you.
Turn on spatial audio on your Mac with Apple silicon
- Make sure that you're wearing your AirPods Pro (1st or 2nd generation), AirPods Max, AirPods (3rd generation), or Beats Fit Pro, and that they're connected to your Mac.
- Click the AirPods or Beats icon in the menu bar to see Spatial Audio listed while you’re playing multichannel content, or Spatialize Stereo while you’re playing two-channel stereo content.
- Click Head Tracked to turn on spatial audio and dynamic head tracking. To turn on spatial audio only, click Fixed. To turn off spatial audio and dynamic head tracking, click Off. "
For additional information, check out this link: Listen with spatial audio for AirPods and Beats - Apple Support
These steps will help ensure your device is working with ease and can fix common issues like the ones you’re experiencing.
Kindest regards!