Hi there fletch2425,
You mentioned having your preference settings correct; what do you have selected exactly for deleted emails? Follow these steps to check:
1. In the Mail app
on your Mac, choose Mail > Settings, then click Accounts.
2. Select an account, click Mailbox Behaviors, then check the setting for the Trash Mailbox option.
- If a mailbox is specified: You can view deleted messages in the Trash mailbox until they’re permanently erased. To retrieve a deleted message, drag it from the Trash mailbox to another mailbox.
- If None is specified: Deleted messages are removed and aren’t available in the Trash mailbox.
You'll find this information here: Delete emails in Mail on Mac - Apple Support
If you do have a mailbox specified as mentioned above, you'll want to be sure your Mac is updated to the latest version of macOS Ventura, which is 13.1. If needed, learn how to update your Mac here: Update macOS on Mac - Apple Support
If the issue persists beyond that, reaching out to Apple Support directly is the next best step. They're better-equipped to take a closer look at the issue and provide some additional guidance. This link will help you get started: Contact - Official Apple Support
Take care.