I updated to 16.1 but am not seeing the option to show recently deleted messages

The option to show Recently Deleted Messages will not appear until you delete a message.....(after you have installed iOS 16.1)

If you deleted the message prior to installing iOS 16, that message is gone.

miggs_martin wrote:

I updated to 16.1 but am not seeing the option to show recently deleted messages

You would need to have deleted some message first in order to see it. Recovering deleted texts and iMessages - Apple Community