How do i recover my screen time passcode without resetting my phone or password?

Apple provides the instructions for resetting your Screen Time password in If you forgot your Screen Time passcode - Apple Support

It requires your Apple ID credentials.

Hi! You don't have to reset your iPhone, but you do have to press change password and then press "forgot password." After that, you must enter your Apple ID and password (for the Apple ID).

More info here:

If you forgot your Screen Time passcode - Apple Support

(if you forgot Apple ID and password for it, scroll to the end of the page).

Hope that helps!