DrDanQ wrote:
1. Thank you for your reply,
Here are my answers:
yes I have more than one photo library....but the "proper one" IS selected
I'm not sure what you mean by "proper one." Is this Library designated as the System Library? You can check by closing Photos and option-clicking on the Photos icon to bring up the Library chooser.

2. it is on an external drive
How is this drive formatted? How is it connected? To avoid damaging the Photos Library an external drive must be formatted in either APFS format or Mac OS Extended (Journaled) format. The drive must be connected directly to the Mac by cable, not networked, clouded, NASed, etc.
3. Optimize storage IS selected
4. apple accounts ARE the same
5. I have used 596GB out of 1 TB total
I'm guessing that this is on your Mac, and that's good-- lots of problems are caused by low storage. How about at iCloud?
Yep, 90K pictures is a lot! (Though it's not a record…) To speed things up, I have a smaller Library as the System Library and connected to iCloud-- it has just the pictures I want to share and show friends and family. I have other Libraries for archiving.
Do you leave the Mac running with Photos in the background at night?