How can I regain control of my hacked iPhone and stop a former friend from remotely controlling it?

"Former friend sets up then does something to cpu. 1 year later find him scanning router in house he takes off.3 phones 5 phone numbers 3 routers 100'sof passwords several apple accounts google accounts emails. He's controlling my device from his devices and used me ruined my life and no matter what I do I can't stop it.in serious need of help before I lose everything including my life.got lots of evidence and it's a lot I just want my life back please help"

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Secure your Network:

For a personal, home network, log into your router, by using either of these two IP Addresses (192.168.0.0 or 192.168.1.1) in the address bar of your Web browser, and then pressing return. Log in using your administrator name and password for the router. Then, see what is connected. If you see something unfamiliar, then you should change the password to your network. You'll have to either log out of every device on your network, or share the network somehow. If it comes down to it, then cones a new router, perhaps having a third party come in a set it up.

Troubleshooting Compromised eMail Account:

Fir iCloud Mail, You can only have one iCloud eMail account. So, create an alias, as an alternative. Go Here: Add and Manage eMail Aliases for iCloud Mail on iCloud.com - Apple Support

Troubleshooting a Hacked Account:

I. Getting In to your Apple Account:

You need to get into your Apple Account. So, contact Apple Support. If you have a hacked iCloud account, then ask the Apple Rep if they can help you add Two-Factor Authentication. Ask them to assist you with changing your password to what it should be. Important: Perform a trial-&-error login session, prior to ending the call.

Apple Contact Info:

• Contact Us - Choose Locations
• Proceed from there, as necessary

II. Secure your Info:

If concerned for device access, then (A)verify your devices, and (B)secure your account. Open a new eMail addressee d use that for your Apple ID.

1. Verify your Devices:

Verify that all devices are logged in to your account, by using this link: Check your Apple ID Device List to See where you're Signed in - Apple Support

then...

2. Modify your Credentials:

Having been stollen, someone lily has your credentials. So, by all means, modifying them.

• Modify: your login credentials (Using Both a New eMail and a New Password for each and all sites)
• Associate: a different method of payment to your account
• Enable: Two-Factor Authentication for Apple ID and for all other accounts that have such an applicable option

III. Report Items to Apple:

So, report phone call's and messages info to Apple and modify. Use my User: Using the Photos App to Report Scams - User Tip

Your former friend cannot control anything unless he / she knows your Apple ID and Password.

Have you checked the list of devices that are using your Apple ID? Do you see a device that you do not recognize?

If you feel an unauthorized person/app is remotely using, controlling or monitoring your device, then that is possible only if you have done one or more of the following Don'ts...

1. Don't hand over an iPhone to kids or to a stranger without Enabling Guided Access
2. Don't share Apple IDs
3. Don't Jailbreak
4. Don't share sensitive information pertaining to your device
5. Don't give in to Phishing
6. Don't plug in your device in Airports and Public places through third-party cables and trust the device. Beware of Juice Jacking. (Especially in India)
7. Don't leave your iPhone unlocked and unattended in public places like offices, schools, malls, etc.

If one of the above is true then quickly change the Apple ID Password and Return iPhone settings to their defaults.

Keep the iPhone updated to the latest iOS always and never Jailbreak. That's it.

iOS / iPadOS devices cannot be hacked or infected with Virus / Malware / Spyware *** unless you have intentionally downloaded spurious software or unauthorized apps directly from the internet and installed them on your device or/and have Jailbroken. 

It (Hacking) also depends on how careful you are in sharing sensitive and valuable information pertaining to your iPhone such as Passcode, Password, etc with your friends and family members.

Be judicious when sharing the device's sensitive and valuable information with friends and family members.

**The primary reason for this is Sandboxing. All third-party apps are “sandboxed”, so they are restricted from accessing files stored by other apps or from making changes to the device. Sandboxing is designed to prevent apps from gathering or modifying information stored by other apps.

Security of runtime process in iOS and iPadOS - Apple Support

The sandbox on an iPhone is a security feature that creates a restricted environment for each app to run in isolation from other apps and the operating system. It is a core component of iOS's security architecture and plays a crucial role in making iPhones more secure.

If you doubt the authenticity of the information provided earlier, you have two alternatives:

1. Report the hacking incident to local law enforcement authorities and actively pursue the case.
2. Accept the credibility of the information; it is impervious to hacking. Just as some individuals hold unconventional beliefs, such as a flat Earth or moon landing denial, one has the freedom to believe in anything. The choice ultimately rests with you in this open and free world.

You did not respond to our first post.

If "he" is the "admin" of your phone......then he is also in effect the owner of the phone. You have no control over the phone at all.

Buy another phone and do not give out any information to anyone regarding your Apple ID, Password, etc.

If you are referring to an Apple Authorized Service Center then yes.

Take your device to an Apple Retail Store or Apple Authorized Service Provider, or contact Apple Support:

Find Locations - Location Selector - Apple

Contact Apple for support and service - Apple Support 

Get a Genius Bar Reservation and Apple Support Options - Apple

Contact Genius Bar.

Manage Reservations - My Reservations - Apple

Contact APPLE, ASAP!!!