Can't pair watch because it needs software update first, can't update because "internet issue" even tho it is connected to wifi

Please help, I've tried every troubleshooting option. This watch has never been paired with the phone. Watch is an older generation but brand new in box bought from T-Mobile store about 2 years ago. I'm pairing to an iphone 14 pro with the latest software updates. When I try to pair the watch it says "let's check for software updates first" and there's no option to pair without doing this. I can't then actually find any updates because it claims "it's not connected to the internet" even though it very much is. Then the only option for me to proceed is to wipe the pairing and unpair this watch that was never actually paired. I've done this about 25 times with multiple different wifi connections, with turning the phone on and off, the watch powered on and off and with updating the latest version of ios for the phone. I'm in a nightmare loop