problem with different icloud contacts on each device

Yeah, none of that worked. Tried it all, repeatedly. a few times.

What I finally had to do, through much trial and error:

1. From an address book that had ballooned go over 17,000 entries across three types of devices and iCloud.com, I was able to dramatically reduce the book in several stages on my (9th gen) iPad, using the excellent and free “Cleanup Dupes” app. I culled the book all the way down to only 1,500 clean contacts - both individuals and organizations.
2. Next, I moved over to my MacBook Pro (16” 2019 model). Miraculously, the Contacts app on the MacBook was close - down to about 1,800 entries, which I backed up to a VCard file, saved on Dropbox. Using that Contact app’s duplicate finder, I got my MacBook list also down to about 1,500 names,
3. Contacts in iCloud.com didn’t match either, though it’s size gradually diminished as I worked on my devices. Finally it approximated my iPad list (Note: this was a “best guess,” arrived at by choosing five different contacts who were very important to me, and continually checking to make sure they were still there on each device and the cloud, through each reduction. I used the “select entries” option through the little gear-shaped icon to check the entries count, and when I finally got that one down to that 1,500 number, I also backed up that set onto Dropbox, using the Export option.
4. My iPhone 13, however, remained a total mess. Contacts in the Phone app didn’t match the phone’s Contacts app, by a wide margin, and neither would sync with iCloud. I finally had to go nuclear. I held my breath, and wiped the iPhone with a hard restore. Then I set up the iPhone as if brand new, and finally, after a 2+ hour set up (even over a Gig WiFi connection), the contacts in the iPhone’s Phone app and Conacts app matched my iPad list.

Let’s just say you guys have still some work to do on device and cloud syncing. Good god.