Cannot sync iTunes to my new iphone11

What version of macOS are you running?

For iOS 14 you need iTunes 12.8.2.3 or better running on OS X 10.11.6 or better. See How to upgrade to OS X El Capitan - Apple Support if required.

Assuming a suitable version of iTunes is in place then in Finder use the menu item Go > Go to Folder..., copy the following text, paste it into the dialog box and press enter:

/System/Library/PrivateFrameworks/MobileDevice.framework/Versions/Current/Resources

Unlock your device and connect it to USB. Double click on MobileDeviceUpdater in the folder that has opened. It should notify you of a software update. Install it and iTunes should hopefully recognize your device.

tt2

Ah, I was assuming you might be on something pre-dating Catalina. See If your device doesn’t appear in the sidebar when connected to Mac - Apple Support.

tt2